The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
