I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
