dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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