Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
