He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
