is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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