Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
