peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
