it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
