does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
