Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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