i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
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