just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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