i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I feel like a drive thru vagina
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
