I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
