I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
