do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
