hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
