He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
