I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
