There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
