I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize