So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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