Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
