Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
