Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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