If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
