Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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