in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize