I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
