im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
