I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
