either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
