is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
