FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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