I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
