this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
