She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
