When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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