I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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