Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
