He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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