the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
