She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize