yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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