If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
