everyone is single if you try hard enough
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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