ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
