super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
