You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
