the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
