Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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