Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
