yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
