At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
