were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
